Starting over sucks—and this is what I feel like right now. I’m not talking about starting over with work, but instead about my workout regimen and lifestyle change.
The Impact of Change
What I underestimated was the impact that getting laid off was going to do to my routine and my emotional state. I thought that the time would allow me to “free up” and attack the gym with more determination and vigor. In fact, the very opposite happened. I stopped going, and I started falling into depression, even though I already had a new job lined up and was excited going into it.
Part of this could be the sudden loss that you experience in a layoff, or the feelings of panic that you go through that wake you up in the night or strike you during the day—but the impact to your confidence and your willingness to put yourself out there again is strong. Getting together with old friends was extremely hard and difficult, and I still am struggling with reestablishing connections today. Going to the gym, where I already feel less that confident was even harder. It felt like starting over.
Something that people don’t realize is that you never start over at the same point you originally were at. Time has passed, you have earned more experience and frankly—you are simply not the same person you were when you “started” the first time. You haven’t backtracked, you have taken a curve. This is because you are always moving forward, even if you slip in some of the metrics you are measuring yourself against.
I have been pretty quiet, and I am changing my blog structure to help make it easier to manage writing by merging my two blogs together into a single location. When I started this new path over a year ago, the increased accountability was going to be a driver to me to keep going. What I found though is that as I started to slip and was saddened by this, the accountability made it harder to be public about it. Because I felt like I have let so many people down, which made the struggle seem magnified.
So today, I start a new Day 1. This isn’t the original Day 1, but a new Day 1 that includes all of the experiences and education that I have learned over the last year.
Reaffirming the Goal
The goal is the same, but I want to summarize it into a single statement:
I will have the confidence, endurance and strength to provide for my family and community to help them solve their challenges, expand their minds, and enrich their lives.
To do this…I need to…
- Focus on building emotional strength
- Focus on building physical strength
- Focus on cutting away the personal, physical and emotional fat that impedes my success
- Have a narrower focus on what I do, and how I do it
So today I look back on some of my original inspiration for getting started:
I will never be at this point again. This is a promise that I can guarantee. When I was at this point I was neither confident, enduring nor strong. I had no focus, and no goals.
The path forward will be different than the one that I was on. It has to be. I’m not the same age, nor is my life around me the same as well. So while I may continue forward with some of the same workout and nutrition plans, they will over time evolve and change.
Thanks for your patience and your amazing support.